Every year for a while now I’ve been writing a letter to all my mom friends on mother’s day. This year, thanks to the power of the internet, I get to share it with many more moms.
It was a pretty mellow morning this year. Some nice cards from the boys (Younger’s haiku made me cry) and a lovely huge daisy plant to put on the front steps. For the first time being “a mom” on mother’s day felt a little less meaningful. Not in a bad way, but I think it’s just a natural part of the kids growing up.
As the intensity of caring for them eases up, so does everything else. It all seems nice and smooth lately, and that vibe just continued through the lazy morning. I snuggled with them on the couch and watched MythBusters. Which is pretty much my favorite thing in the whole wide world, so I have NO complaints.
I got to hug my mother-in-law and tell her how much I love her. I talked to my own mom on the phone, who called at the moment I was getting out of the car on the side of the highway, and gave me sympathy for the carsickness I’ve had since I was her little girl. I spent some time with two mom friends and got a bunch of texts from others. As I said, not as exciting as past Mother’s days, but one of the nicest days I’ve had in a while.
We spent the afternoon watching my sister-in-law (also a mom) in Into the Woods, probably one of the most poignant musicals out there for a parent. I remember listening to it quite a bit when I was pregnant with my first, the songs outlining so many life lessons.
I also remember thinking, how am I going to cover all of this with my kid? I dunno, maybe just give him a copy of Into the Woods.
One of the biggest laughs I had yesterday was when Rapunzel confronted her mother, the Witch, telling her, “You locked me in a tower, you blinded my prince, you banished me to the desert…because of you I’ll never be happy!!” (Runs away crying.)
And the witch screamed after her, “I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BE A GOOD MOTHER!!!”
I laughed because all the moms on the sidelines of the game last week had this exact same conversation. It really doesn’t matter what you do as a mom – work, don’t work, spoil them, be strict, do everything the best way you think you possibly can, but you can’t change the fact that everything will always be your fault.
So what it means to be a mother is changing for me as my boys grow up, and just like everything else about being a mom, I have to adjust to that. Still compensating, still shifting, still being as patient as I can while worrying all the time that I’m screwing them up. Ah, motherhood. I hope that all the moms had a fabulous day and got some of the love you deserve.