What’s Up, Lego Advent Calendar?

Yeah yeah yeah, it’s January and I’m just cleaning up my Christmas stuff. Busy mother, remember? Half the point of this whole blog?

Anyway. Every year my mother buys either a Lego or Playmobil advent calendar for the kids. The Playmobil ones are fun because they’re re-usable, and they all have a holiday theme. We have several now and sometimes we set them all up so the boys are opening four or five calendars every day.

The Lego ones are fun because they get to build a little something every day and get lots of Lego people for their collection. While they have a little bit of a holiday theme (you always get a Santa!), they’re mostly just little pieces, sets, and people that can be mixed in with the giant box of Legos.

This year, we had a very hard time figuring out what the theme was. Well, not so much what it was, but WHY.

Day one: this guy.

Something tells me that's not just a snowball

OK, he’s missing a tooth, he’s scruffy, he has an I’m-up-to-no-good look. That’s weird. But he’s got a snowball, so maybe it’s just fun and games time.

Day two: this catapult.

Can't say that word without getting the REM song stuck in my head

Yes, see, I reassured the kids, it’s just a snowball fight. You always bring your catapult to a snowball fight!

And thank goodness they warned us not to launch it into anyone’s eye. Because the last thing you want to do the week before Christmas is shoot your eye out.

You'll shoot your eye out!

Day three: a cop.

Extra handcuffs.

With handcuffs. And extra handcuffs. And an incredibly smug look on his face. (Occupy Lego City?)

Where are we going with this theme?

Day four: this.

The bars are just to keep the cashier safe, honey...

Immediately Older Son said it was a jail. I said no, it’s just a warming station. Or a snack shack. It’s Christmas in the city after all, and we’re having a snowball fight so we need some hot chocolate when we’re done.

Why do I even try to be positive? I’m sure they think I’m already senile. Or just really pathetically naive. I’m surprised they don’t pat my head.

So by the end of two weeks, here’s what the warming station became:

Yep. It's a jail.

Older Son, with some resignation, declared, “Yep. I was right. It’s a jail.”

And by this time we had another guy:

Sk8r con

And notice how his shirt matches the first guy! They’re freakin convicts!!! (The good thing is, he has a skateboard for a quick getaway. And his helmet so he can be VERY responsible. Because a convict on the lam’s first concern is safety.)

The scene, as my boys predicted, was a JAIL BREAK. With more cops, a safe, cars and snowmobiles in pursuit, and don’t forget the K9 unit.


Release the hounds!

And now, into the middle of all this chaos, here comes Santa. And he’s pissed.

Santa's here. You're in for it now.

Ooo, nothing but coal for you, bad guys.

And then you’ve just got this random dude out ice fishing. Does he even know what’s happening right behind him?

Totally random bystander

Seriously Lego people. It’s CHRISTMAS! I’m all for madness and mayhem, I have boys. We have guns and swords and good guys and bad guys and wrestling matches and tae kwon do and WWE. But for Christmas?

The boys were puzzled by it and honestly, a little disappointed. But that didn’t stop them from having some fun. Look how happy this guy is that he’s about to take a crowbar to poor old Santa.

Look out! Behind you Santa!

Look out Santa! Behind you!

You’ve gotta be a hard, hard dude to want to beat up Kris Kringle.

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake
He knows you’re creeping up on him with a big red Lego stake

Maybe it’s Lego’s anti-crime campaign. “Be good kids, because if you grow up and become a felon you won’t get ANY presents! And have a Merry Christmas.” People of Lego: I’m not complaining. We’re over it. Our season was not ruined by the jailbreak advent calendar. But my sons respectfully request a little more holiday cheer next year. Mm-kay?

10 thoughts on “What’s Up, Lego Advent Calendar?

  1. Oh my gosh- seriously? You can’t make this stuff up?!?! Just for the record? I literally walked my last basket full of Xmas decorations down into the basement not 2 hours ago- advent calendar, mantle dec’s, fireplace lights…valentin e’s day here we come!

  2. LOL LOL LOL. I read this and laughed so hard I had to read it again. Then read it aloud to hubby and laughed some more. This one goes in the book!

  3. And no worries – our Christmas decoration boxes are still in the living room and the furniture is all askew waiting for us to move the boxes upstairs.

  4. I happened upon your blog by searching on how to a child in their room for a time out when they keep popping back out (desperation really because the corner, chair, etc…well, they pop out of those spots too like nothing is going on and have quite the strong will as I repeatedly return them there.)
    Anyway, I started nosing through old posts because I was intrigued when I read you were a home daycare provider and I guess just curious about what it was like. I currently stay home during the week with our 5 kids (boy-10, boy-7.5, girl-5.5, boy-3 and boy-20 months.) I also work a weekend or so a month as a pharmacist at the local “big box retail chain” (honestly more grueling than being home some days.) My mother jokes when she visits about once a month that this is “Angela’s daycare center” with just our kids. It can feel like it, especially after summer break, staggered naps, terrible 2’s and willful 3’s plus the husband travels some along with working 8-6 every day and I have no real help I’ve been able to establish. (your “Carol” sounds amazing!) It costs a fortune just to pay a college student to come be an extra pair of hands and entertainment so I maybe can get the laundry done or dinner started.

    Sorry for the novel, but you are very witty and funny and I have found your blog enjoyable to read. I never comment on anything “online,” but the poem line “he knows when you’re creeping up on him with a big red Lego stake” make me laugh out loud, so I thought I’d share that! (and much more apparently….did I mention it’s been a long, sweltering, South Carolina summer engaged with 5 kids 24/7? Ha!)
    Anyway, thanks for the fun reading this evening.

    • Aww, thanks! I totally feel your pain – but I get to send all but two kids home at the end of the day! Your poor daughter – the only girl right in the middle! Well I’m sure she can hold her own. Sometimes you can find people who are trying to become child care providers or teachers who need volunteer hours – maybe someone like that could come help you out. But get references! You probably found out I’m not a huge fan of timeouts – while I believe consequences for bad behavior are ESSENTIAL, sometimes timeouts end up being more trouble than they’re worth. We actually re-discovered Nanny 911, the show that came out before SuperNanny, and they really do a good job of giving natural consequences. Watch them if you can. Also read “Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child” by Robert J. Mac Kenzie (in your free time)… 😉 And keep your chin up…this too shall pass….Thanks for reading and best wishes!

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