Yeah yeah yeah, it’s January and I’m just cleaning up my Christmas stuff. Busy mother, remember? Half the point of this whole blog?

Anyway. Every year my mother buys either a Lego or Playmobil advent calendar for the kids. The Playmobil ones are fun because they’re re-usable, and they all have a holiday theme. We have several now and sometimes we set them all up so the boys are opening four or five calendars every day.

The Lego ones are fun because they get to build a little something every day and get lots of Lego people for their collection. While they have a little bit of a holiday theme (you always get a Santa!), they’re mostly just little pieces, sets, and people that can be mixed in with the giant box of Legos.

This year, we had a very hard time figuring out what the theme was. Well, not so much what it was, but WHY.

Day one: this guy.

OK, he’s missing a tooth, he’s scruffy, he has an I’m-up-to-no-good look. That’s weird. But he’s got a snowball, so maybe it’s just fun and games time.

Day two: this catapult.

Yes, see, I reassured the kids, it’s just a snowball fight. You always bring your catapult to a snowball fight!

And thank goodness they warned us not to launch it into anyone’s eye. Because the last thing you want to do the week before Christmas is shoot your eye out.

Day three: a cop.

With handcuffs. And extra handcuffs. And an incredibly smug look on his face. (Occupy Lego City?)

Where are we going with this theme?

Day four: this.

Immediately Older Son said it was a jail. I said no, it’s just a warming station. Or a snack shack. It’s Christmas in the city after all, and we’re having a snowball fight so we need some hot chocolate when we’re done.

Why do I even try to be positive? I’m sure they think I’m already senile. Or just really pathetically naive. I’m surprised they don’t pat my head.

So by the end of two weeks, here’s what the warming station became:

Older Son, with some resignation, declared, ”Yep. I was right. It’s a jail.”

And by this time we had another guy:

And notice how his shirt matches the first guy! They’re freakin convicts!!! (The good thing is, he has a skateboard for a quick getaway. And his helmet so he can be VERY responsible. Because a convict on the lam’s first concern is safety.)

The scene, as my boys predicted, was a JAIL BREAK. With more cops, a safe, cars and snowmobiles in pursuit, and don’t forget the K9 unit.

And now, into the middle of all this chaos, here comes Santa. And he’s pissed.

Ooo, nothing but coal for you, bad guys.

And then you’ve just got this random dude out ice fishing. Does he even know what’s happening right behind him?

Seriously Lego people. It’s CHRISTMAS! I’m all for madness and mayhem, I have boys. We have guns and swords and good guys and bad guys and wrestling matches and tae kwon do and WWE. But for Christmas?

The boys were puzzled by it and honestly, a little disappointed. But that didn’t stop them from having some fun. Look how happy this guy is that he’s about to take a crowbar to poor old Santa.

You’ve gotta be a hard, hard dude to want to beat up Kris Kringle.

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake
He knows you’re creeping up on him with a big red Lego stake

Maybe it’s Lego’s anti-crime campaign. “Be good kids, because if you grow up and become a felon you won’t get ANY presents! And have a Merry Christmas.” People of Lego: I’m not complaining. We’re over it. Our season was not ruined by the jailbreak advent calendar. But my sons respectfully request a little more holiday cheer next year. Mm-kay?